On Raising Boy: Things

He is 13 and does not have a cell phone or a television or computer in his room. Oh, the only game system he had was a Nintendo 64 which he and his friends played regularly when they were allowed in the house. He got a Play Station 2 this summer when the DVD player in the family room died. I think he has five games for it. He’s allowed to play it only on weekends. He does not have a private home line nor does he have a refrigerator in his room. He doesn’t have siblings either. He doesn’t have a BB gun (we live in the south, the for real south) and he doesn’t have a pocket knife. Wait, I think his grandfather gave him a Swiss Army thing-a-majig, does that count? He doesn’t have a tattoo or body piercing or earrings. He doesn’t have a lot of that stuff that society swears young people require.

I know, I know. I’ve already heard how we are denying him his childhood experiences to connect with his peers. As several very concerned people have pointed out, we can afford to buy those items for him. The funny thing is that “boy” remains well connected to his public and current on pop culture issues without any of those things.

He does have a bicycle, a ripstick, and an MP3 player. Oh, and Malynn insisted he have a mini pocket bike two years ago but it stays at his grandparents house in another state. There’s a motorcycle club two streets over from our house-enough said. He had a pogo stick, a skateboard, and rollerblades. He had a puppy and fish too- the first ran away and the latter flushed. He has a lawn mower to earn money but something about falling off a neighbor’s retaining wall and going to the emergency room has deterred him from using it. He has a room full of books and a library card as well, which he uses without prompting. He does have computer privileges at home. Yep, access is limited. Come on, he’s 13 and a raging hormone. What is he going to search??? Let him ogle the female teenage body during school hours like good old fashioned teen development.

And I think that’s my point. Just because we live in a society full of immediate gratification doesn’t mean that our parenting is dictated by those principles. It is more important to us that “boy” develop healthy socialization and critical thinking skills than how many things we can buy for him. No he didn’t get a Wii in December 2008 but in January 2009 he got to miss a couple days of school because our family went to D.C. for the inauguration of that Obama guy. Did he get the value of it? What do you think? He complained about how cold it was and how much walking he had to do and how people he didn’t know were invading his personal space on the Metro. The coolest thing to him was hanging out with his cousin that shares the same first name and seeing how very similar they are. We forced him to document the trip and create a PowerPoint slideshow for school. How lame. This summer his grandparents sent him to Space Camp. At that graduation ceremony, we witnessed his mastery of “anatomy and social networking” although his program track was robotics. He can’t wait to return next summer.

In years to come we believe that the value of his life experiences will far out weigh all of the things we did not buy for him. And if not, hopefully we will have resolved the health care issue and he can afford to see a therapist about it. Actually, if that’s the greatest childhood trauma he experiences, I’ll pay for the therapy.