Ear Hustling on Race and Class

Allow me to set the stage. Neighborhood coffee spot, laptops and Ipads open and casual banter about what's keeping us busy (us: Stan, African American man and yours truly), updates on Manchild (his and mine) and then on to our business of serving and saving our African American community which included generational experiences of extended family, the role of Black men in parenting their children especially males when they are not in the same household with their mothers and as my brother Stan says being unapologetic about all of it. Cue Travis (White American man) sitting beside us and ear hustling. Later, we would learn that he was studying for the bar. Travis took advantage of a pause and asked if he could ask us a question.  I noticed that he did not wait for an affirmative response before posing the question- first observation. Or maybe he did receive an affirmative nod from Stan. Either way, I immediately started smiling and holding my hands. I did not want to discuss the Zimmerman verdict, period. In fact, I've avoided that conversation in several arenas this week. Trust and believe, I have my reasons.

His question was related to if we would attribute the differences in the African American community to a generational shift. Travis politely explained that he wasn't listening to our conversation and proceeded to refer to specific examples of generational experiences that both Stan and I discussed- second observation.  Let me say that I was so grateful that this was an experience I shared with Stan. Though Travis eventually got around to asking the Trayvon Martin question ("Do you think that Trayvon attacked Zimmerman?")  and a President Obama  question (third observation),  I welcomed the conversation that ensued from Travis' ear hustling. It provided an often avoided opportunity to discuss race and class across gender, race, and class bodies. I'm not making assumptions about Travis here- he shared that he went to school in Virginia and Nashville and is currently studying for the bar. He offered Charles Murray's Coming Apart for insights into White class beliefs. I also noticed that Travis was limited in what information he offered unless he was solicited. I inquired about the type of law he was pursuing, he shared tax law to start and offered a great self-diffusing comment about tax law killing cocktail conversations. The three of us continued on about race, class, and systems and legal gun ownership.  It was a conversation.

I won't wax poetic. I will say that I hope to meet more White folks that are willing to engage in an open conversation where my (and Stan's) differences are not threatening and we can see each other clearly. As Stan informed Travis, " I don't want you to be colorblind. This (pointing to his skin) is who I am."

Travis, if you read this, keep ear hustling and engaging folks that don't look like you and yours in conversation. I'd actually appreciate some honesty about the ear hustling, as in, "Excuse me, I was listening to your conversation and found some things you said interesting and in my circle I don't get the chance to talk with African American people."  Just don't be offended if they don't invite you in. Sometimes when a Standupbrothah and a Standupsistah are engrossed in a conversation in a public space, you may not be included. Unapologetically.